She couldn't have found a white towel to drape over her head on her wedding day?
As a GA native and voice of Southern expertise, I would like to point out that inviting 600 people, while seeming awfully outrageous, isn't extremely odd in the South. Such weddings (my mother labels them "WASP/Goyish cocktail parties")are pretty commonplace - I think it dates back to when weddings were true community/ small-town events, and everyone in the town was invited. They are never seated dinners or even buffets - usually just beer & wine, and some little stations of food, which is how anyone can afford to invite so many folks. I will not get into how this greatly offends my mother's sense of propriety, nor will I get into how the idea of 14 bridesmaids (also not terribly odd South of the Mason-Dixon line)offends mine.
I have been to many a southern wedding this big, and just wanted to clarify that having such a large wedding does not necessarity mean that you're a high-brow kinda couple, or come from such a family.
Bottom line: a large wedding (or foofy registry) does not a high-brow couple make.
Seeing the huge registry pretty much completely filled is so sad. I wonder how many new boxes were on their front doorstep when she left out of it on Wednesday. That's a lot of stuff for poor John to send back. But maybe that's not his highest priority right now...