I'd be more worried about finding virgins in 2004. Good luck!
Not being Jewish, the "shirt from my back" part kinda threw me. Is that traditional? And do you still get to say that if you rented your tux shirt? :)
>>Where the hell am I gonna get two hundred silver zuzim?<<
Do the best you can and substitute equal value where neccessary. It's well known that you can buy a kid (i.e., baby goat) for two zuzim; a grown up goat might be worth twice as much. If you'd rather substitute beef, chicken, pork bellies or whatever, the Wall Street Journal lists prices for these and many other commodities. The prices are in dollars, of course, but one you know the zuzim to goat exchange rate you can figure it out. There are futures prices, too, in case you don't want the stuff delivered until August.
OK, but pork bellies are not Kosher!! I think they should stay away from them.