I totally agree--especially the "added task" factor! You'll feel tempted when that first "NO" is returned...I already have 14 people respond "NO", but I'm not sending anymore invites! Tacky at this point, 3 weeks away!!
we don't have a b-list. very tacky.
We are going to "b list". But we are sending out first list at 9 weeks and second list at 6-5 weeks. And I also have a wedding planner who will do it. It's a necessary evil when my future in laws had a 100 person guest list on their own of solely business contacts. That did not jive with our vision of a small 175-180 person wedding. I found this to be a better money saving idea than inviting everyone to the church and then only inviting half of them to the reception. It's more to keep the peace with my in laws than anything.
1 - The high road is to call close but out of town friends and relatives (especially those you would talk to anyway) and get a better idea of who might actually show up. That lets you safely scale down the A-list so that the second string might be included in the first mailing.
2 - If all else fails, package up a new invitation, take it out in the rain, toss it in the mud, step on it and otherwise bend and mutilate. Call your B-list friends and ask if maybe their response card got lost somehow. Wait two days before mailing.