August 28, 2008

Well, That's One Way to Win Over a Neighborhood

Who knew? Apparently the IKEA has been such a success in Red Hook that you can also get oral sex while you're in the neighborhood shopping for a FLORBY and a new set of BLORGOS.

At least that's what Gothamist is reporting: After Ikea's Success, Red Hook Gets BJ's.

Posted by Doug at 02:37 PM

August 27, 2008

Dot C'mon

I thought Hillary Clinton's speech last night was great overall, striking all the right notes, although I'm still puzzled as to how the New York senator and former first lady has taken the mantle of feminism when there is no shortage of real ones -- Senator Dianne Feinstein, Representative Jane Harman, and the late Stephanie Tubbs Jones come to mind -- in Democratic politics. Still, if there are any die-hard Clinton supporters out there, it's their own damn fault and not because of any coded messages from their fearless leader to sit tight until 2012.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder: Has there ever been a speaker at a national convention -- a speaker who was not receiving the nomination, that is -- who had thousands of people in the audience holding signs with her website printed on the bottom? "I'm Hillary Clinton and I support Barack Obama, but since I have your attention please visit my website and make a secure e-pledge to pay down my massive campaign debts."

I did see a number of people wearing Mark Warner t-shirts during his speech, but not on the scale of the signs that went up when Hillary took the stage. (Which is interesting because he's currently running for office and she is not.) I guess after what we witnessed during the primary, a little shamelessness in what was otherwise a classy, humble speech is to be expected from a Clinton, no?

Posted by Doug at 09:47 AM

August 25, 2008

Biden My Time

Okay, so I was wrong. Obama picked Biden. But really, is it any challenge to come up with puns for a Senator named Joe from Delaware? (Dela-where?) We've been down the Joe road before with Joe Lieberman in 2000, although get ready for the Brangelina-like nickname, Jobama. I won't even bother with other Joe puns.

Etc. Joe Biden: disappointing headline writers for decades.

Posted by Doug at 02:04 PM

August 22, 2008

Shrill Bill

Okay, I know I'm late to this one, but I've seen it replayed on the news over and over again, especially in light of the continued questions over what the Clintons will say during the Democratic National Convention next week. Talk about the politics of personal destruction: if Bill had his way, he'd allow the country to continue to be destroyed by Republican policies rather than see Barack Obama usurp his throne as the biggest Democrat around.

We all remember this lovely exchange when Bill was asked if Senator Obama was qualified to be president. "You could argue that nobody is qualified to be president," he said. Thanks, Bill.

Someone -- anyone -- needs to muzzle this guy and vet whatever he might say next week. I hardly remember Bill saying anything similar about George W. Bush during the 2000 campaign. Bill probably didn't want Gore to be president any more than he wants Barack to win, and in hindsight Bill might think that the past eight years haven't been so bad as far as his legacy is concerned. Why risk an Obama presidency and the possibility of actual competence and personal responsibility returning to the White House?

And I think at this point even the media should call him out on what he's doing. What needed to be asked as a follow up question was, "Well, Mr. President, since someone has to be elected president in November could you please tell us, of all the people who are not qualified to be president, who is the least not qualified, Barack Obama or John McCain?"

Sometimes, it is actually possible to out Clinton a Clinton.

Posted by Doug at 12:02 PM

August 20, 2008

Generate Your Own NY Post Headline

Obama is about to announce his VP pick, and odds are looking good that it will be Virginia governor Tim Kaine. From a discussion with a friend, I present a list of possible headlines likely to grace newspapers and blogs as soon as the announcement is made:

Citizen Kaine
Barack Me Like a Hurri-Kaine
Yes We Kaine
Kaine is Able
Raising Kaine
Kaine, You Hear Me Now?

Posted by Doug at 02:41 PM

Ender's Lame

Orson Scott Card doesn't want to be called a homophobe, but he sure as hell hates gay people. Wow. Who knew that the passage of laws allowing gay marriage spelled the "end of democracy"? This is priceless and probably means I have to throw out my dog-eared copy of Ender's Game. (It also explains why Orson Scott Card chose to call the aliens in his books "buggers.") I tried to pick just one passage to rip apart but there are too many; my web hosting package only comes up with so much space. Read for yourself and witness a type of mental gymnastics that should be an Olympic event.

Posted by Doug at 09:38 AM

August 07, 2008

Del Close Marathon

The Upright Citizens Brigade's annual Del Close Marathon is this weekend, August 8 through 10, with shows round the clock at four venues.

My musical improv group, VEAL, is appearing at Urban Stages (259 W. 30th Street between 7th and 8th) at 11:15 AM on Saturday. Yes, that's AM, as in before noon in the morning, and not at night. Perfect for geriatrics and those who like to get their improv in before brunch. It should be a fun show and a great crowd! You can't buy individual show tickets, but the $25 festival pass is good for shows 24 hours a day from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening.

More info can be found here.

(If you're into more musical acts, I highly recommend Baby Wants Candy (tickets are extra for their shows) and I Eat Pandas, which has a prime slot at 8 PM at the UCB Theatre.)

Posted by Doug at 11:06 PM