PlanetGordon.com

Milwaukee Update

It's not every day that a trip to Newark airport ends with a livery cab driver threatening your life, but that's what happened to me today. My trip from Brooklyn in a filthy car with one permanently-open window and a barely-able-to-keep-up AC with a driver who never met a speed limit he didn't want to break was the absolute worst I've ever taken in years. In addition to speaking on his cell phone most of the way and being generally rude to me when I asked him the smallest request - to turn up the AC - we stopped at a gas station so he could fill the car's tires with air. Now that's some routine maintenence one would hope a driver takes care of before he picks you up.

So, after doing a top speed of - no joke - 100 MPH in New Jersey despite my requests to slow down, this driver was definitely not getting my money. As a New Yorker, I've received some appallingly bad service, but never before had I gone through with my threats to not tip someone. This, time, though, I was pissed enough to follow through.

With two of my bags and our ketubah in the trunk, I knew I'd have to be careful, lest the driver hold my bags hostage. So, he pulled up to the terminal - missing my airline's door, of course - and let me out. I grabbed my bags and he placed the ones from the trunk on the curb. Then I handed him the fare, no tip. He flipped out. To make a long story short, he threatened my life, saying that if he ever saw me in my neighborhood he would either punch me or kill me. Great. All this from a guy who actually picked me up at my apartment and knows where I live. (Interestingly, with all the heightened security at the airport, and despite the fact that our altercation happened barely fifteen feet from a Skycap station, not a single person came to investigate the situation, which quickly escalated beyond a level even the most agressive person would be comfortable with.) That L is still home, of course, is of some concern, but I think things will be okay.

Escaping the driver's reach, I went inside, my adrenaline slowly dropping back down to normal. After a number of calls to the livery company and promises from them to deal with the driver and get back to me, I checked in and made my way through security.

Here's something I hadn't really thought of before I left for the airport: how do you explain a ketubah, with its strange Aramaic writing, to federal Transportation Security Administration screeners? No fewer than three screeners came to take a look at the ketubah and each time I had to explain, "It's for my wedding." It was a minor hassle, but when the last screener offered me her congratulations, I felt it had been worth it.

So, one Diet Coke, one bag of Chex Mix and one chocolate chip cookie (care of Midwest Airlines) later, I arrived in Milwaukee.

Friday in Milwaukee, of course, means a fish fry and I was not disappointed. With the most of the new in-laws (sister, brother, mother, niece, nephew) I went to the weekly fish fry and polka night at The Lakefront Brewery. It was a great opening to my weekend in Milwaukee, a very authentic experience.

Tomorrow will be my first day of volunteering for the Kerry campaign. Rumor has it he'll be in town sometime tomorrow or later. I'll keep you posted.

Posted by The Groom at August 20, 2004 10:46 PM