August 11, 2004

The Paper Chase

Caution: this entry contains two minor wedding spoilers about flowers and table decorations.

L is a fan of The Amazing Race on CBS and after watching a bit of the show I would like to suggest a new challenge for the show's contestants.

First, racers would have to drop off a few sheets of paper, let's say a wedding program, at a local copy shop and arrange to pick it up later that day. Then they'd have to run home, realizing they forgot an even larger amount of paper sitting in a box by their front door, pick it up and get on a Manhattan bound F train, switch to an A and then make their way through the streets of Manhattan on a hot and sunny summer afternoon without bumping in to anyone.

L and I had ordered large sheets of paper for the reception. The tables will have white table cloths and minimalist centerpieces - gerbera daisies - with one 2' x 2' square sheet of the green (acutally "honeydew") paper under each vase. The problem was that the sheets of paper only came in rectangles and needed to be cut. Too big for normal paper slicers like the ones you might find in a school or in your office's copier room, I decided to bring the box of paper to the store from which they were ordered, Pearl.

So, that's how I found myself on Canal Street, dodging pedestrians and street vendors and barely avoiding knocking a few of them over with my box. The only problem was that when I got to Pearl and lugged the box up three flights of stairs to their paper department, I was told by an employee that they don't cut paper. They sell paper, and they sell paper cutters, but they don't cut paper. Remember those TV ads for the phone company that showed people driving to a concert only to find it had been canceled? The tag line was "Call first." Well, I should have called first.

The guy behind the counter at Pearl was very nice and suggested I go to the Kinko's at Astor Place. So, I lugged the box back down to Canal Street and headed to the Subway. Hotter than hell, I went down the wrong entrance to the subway and wound up spending about ten minutes underground, walking up and down stairs and following about a dozen different signs pointing me to the 6 train. When I finally got to the correct platform and a train arrived, it was packed. It was a good thing I only had to go a few stops.

Kinko's, however, was my salvation. I know I've bad-mouthed them before, so I feel as if I owe Kinko's an apology. When you spend almost two hours at a giant paper slicer, you get to know a few people. Everyone there was courteous and one of the store's employees even helped me cut a few sheets, speeding up my task.

Rather than lug the box of cut paper back to Brooklyn, I shipped it all straight from Kinko's. Sure, it cost a little more than doing it at my local post office, but at that point I would have paid twice as much as what I had to in order to avoid going back on the subway.

Back in Brooklyn, I stopped in at the local copy shop to pick up the wedding program. The program had not been copied as promised, but not because of any fault of the store's. I had printed the wrong date on the cover thanks to an auto-complete function on Microsoft Word that I neglected to undo. In fact, in multiple edits of the programs, L and I failed to notice this and it was only thanks to the eagle-eyed Eddie at the copy store, who was observant enough to notice that June 29 2004 had already happened, that we weren't stuck with 250 programs with the wrong date.

So I ran home, printed out a new cover and brought it back to the copy shop, four blocks away. I spent some time with Eddie, helping him fold the programs, thanked him profusely, and then ran across the street with 250 hot-from-the-presses programs and shipped them at the UPS Store.

I came home to find L sitting on the couch, watching "The Amazing Race."

So, those are two major tasks that are now done. My goal is to have all of my wedding-related jobs done by Tuesday so that I can relax and enjoy my last two days at home before I leave for Milwaukee on Friday, August 20th. I still have to get my tux altered, put the finishing touches on the slide show/movie for the rehearsal dinner, and burn about 90 more CDs.

Posted by The Groom at August 11, 2004 08:20 AM

Did I not warn you that you'll have tons of little tasks to complete in the few days before the wedding??? Just wait til you get to Milwaukee!!

Posted by: E from Michigan at August 11, 2004 09:32 AM

Wow. It was exhausting just reading that entry...Good luck!

Posted by: Tim at August 11, 2004 11:50 AM

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck on the big day for both you and L. I am getting married this weekend, so will not be able to read anymore entries until we return from Aruba. Hope your day is perfect and memorable.

Posted by: Elisa at August 11, 2004 04:12 PM