By this time two weeks from now I'll be married. You'll all finally be able to call me by my married name, Mr. Gordon.
Actually, the name game is something L and I have spoken about a lot recently, mostly because at this stage in our pre-wedding process it's the one question we hear more than any other. (Now that everyone knows most of the wedding details, I guess it's one of the few unknowns left.)
For now we've decided not to decide, since without kids in the picture we don't really see much of a reason to make any changes. We're both trying to make a name for ourselves in our chosen professions and changing who people have know us as doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now. And anyway, we've been who we are for over 30 years. Why make any change at all?
I won't go in to too long a rant about changing one's name, as with less than two weeks to go I still have a ton to do and can more easily articulate stories about burning CDs, printing programs and getting my tux altered. But for an excellent article on this subject, check out this piece on Salon.com by Lynn Harris.
We have thought about hyphenating and have some friends and relatives who chose that as an option. It works for them, but even they would admit that it can lead to some problems down the road. What happens when Joseph Smith-Jones marries Mary Johnson-Stevens? Do they then become Joseph and Mary Smith-Jones-Johnson-Stevens? And what about the generation after that? In about a generation or two we'll need extra wide phone books.
Some people combine their names, creating a new name altogether. But somehow this feels like an even worse solution than having just one person make the switch. When Laura Bush and John Kerry become Laura and John Berry, instead of losing the sense of history behind one surname, they lose all of it.
Gordon, my last name, is a damn good one. The only problem is that L's last name is a damn good one, too. This would all be a whole lot easier if her last name were Lipschitz or something similarly change-worthy.
Woven throughout all this, I admit, is a fundamentally sexist thread. At no time have I ever considered that I would change my name. I may be a liberal groom, but on this issue I am staunchly conservative.
We have, however, agreed on one modern twist to this whole name issue: after the wedding, L will switch from her maiden AOL to a new @planetgordon.com email address.Posted by The Groom at August 16, 2004 09:45 AM