PlanetGordon.com

On a Block Far Far Away

As the readership of this site has expanded a number of people and companies have contacted me looking to promote goods and services that they feel would be of interest to men about to tie the knot. It should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone that strip clubs, excuse me, gentlemen's clubs are among those looking to promote themselves on a site for grooms. Not too long ago I received an email from Jennifer, the marketing director of the Penthouse Executive Club asking if I might somehow be able to plug the club.

Around the same time, I received the following email from Jeremy S., a groom from Indianapolis:

Hey Groom! My buddies are coming to NYC for my friend's bachelor party but none of us have been before. Do you know of good places for a bunch of guys to go to like strip clubs?

I stared at my computer screen, looking at the two emails. One from an enterprising marketing director inviting me and my friends to a night at the club, and the other from a curious young man seeking my advice on a traditional pastime of grooms and their best friends. It was...the Perfect Storm! So, in service to my readers, I had no choice but to take Jennifer up on her offer.

My friends and I - a group of men and women - went on a weeknight to Manhattan's far west side which, according to yesterday's article in the New York Times is quickly becoming the strip club capital of the city. (Due to the understandable appearance of impropriety, L opted out of attending.)

Jennifer greeted us and took us on quick tour of the facilities: two giant bars with flat-panel TVs, an upstairs VIP lounge and a variety of rooms typically reserved for bachelor parties and other big-spending patrons. There's even a fancy steak house, Robert's, headed by Chef Adam Perry Lang, owner of the yummy Daisy May's BBQ and formerly of Le Cirque. Yes, bachelors, you can get a strip with your strip steak. Our tour, much to the disappointment of one of my friends, did not include any backstage areas.

We settled into a group of chairs to the left of the club's stage and had our first round of drinks comped by the generous Jennifer. Interestingly, the first thing I noticed after we sat down was not the dozens of naked women walking around, but the fact that I could actually hear my friends and hold conversations with them as we sipped our drinks. Because the club is trying to facilitate as much interaction as possible between the dancers and patrons - the end result being more twenties exchanged for lapdances - the volume level is kept at a comfortable level. Too many bars in New York turn their speakers all the way up to eleven, making it nearly impossible to hear one's companions and sending most customers home with tinnitus. Isn't it odd that in a city with so many bars and restaurants in which people gather, strip clubs and Starbucks are the only places one can go for good conversation? (And at the rate both are taking over Manhattan, a strip club with a Starbucks inside can't be too far off.)

I was expecting more mirrors and shiny poles, but the club had the feel of a comfortable downtown bar and not some pre-Giuliani Times Square dive joint. As Jennifer had told me ahead of time, the club was definitely upscale. (I've noticed that adjective is rarely used for anything other than gentlemen's clubs, casinos and other businesses that cater to an adult clientele. Have you ever heard the word "upscale" used to descibe a supermarket or pizza parlor?)

And what about the clientele? Well, it was certainly diverse, with some people wearing Brooks Brother's suits and others wearing Armani.

Many drinks followed the first free round and one friend (let's just call him Scott, for that is is name) had passed out as our evening wound to a close. At least he did it in a cushy velvet chair. A good time had by all, we tipped our waitress generously, escorted our friend to the door and bid the club adieu. A friendly doorman wished us a goodnight.

So Jennifer, thanks for the VIP treatment and consider your club plugged. Jeremy, while I can't vouch for all the other clubs in the city - I don't know how I would feel about being the go-to guy for strip clubs in New York - you and your buddies will definitely be comfortable should you make the trek to the corner of West 45th Street and 11th (!) Avenue.

Posted by The Groom at May 13, 2004 06:13 PM