January 27, 2004

And All You Got Was a "Taken" T-Shirt


Many people emailed me directly or commented about my post on the lack of a suitable engagement token for men. With many women wielding light-catching diamond rings to signal that they are engaged, what could men use to show their soon-to-be married status?

Some suggested leveling the playing field by having women buy rings for their grooms. I'm all for equality in the wedding process, but outside of a P. Diddy video I don't know too many guys wearing a lot of bling.

Watches were the most common suggestion, perhaps because they are the only men's luxury item that can approach the cost of women's jewelry. But many men - married and single - already wear watches so I'm not sure if it's a distinct enough signal. A diamond ring says "This woman is engaged." A nice wristwatch says "This guy has a nice wristwatch."

What about a tattoo? A diamond is forever, as the ad goes, but a tattoo is permanent. Our nation's 50% divorce rate and the example set by Billy Bob and Angelina might make some wary of scarring their skin. Black ink isn't a guarantee against cold feet.

My mother suggested a reversible T-shirt that reads "I'm with her" on one side and "taken" on the other. All personal biases aside, I decided the most ridiculous suggestion was really the best. A little humor goes a long way when you're planning a wedding, so in that spirit the shirts you see on this page are available for sale.


While not reversible, they signal your engaged status with bold certainty. You can buy one for the man in your life to show the world he's spoken for. It makes a great Valentine's Day gift for grooms, husbands, partners or serious boyfriends. The women's baby doll version makes a great shower or bachelorette party gift. You could also buy one for your friends who claim to have been abducted by aliens.

Again, here's the link to buy a shirt. All profits from the first day of sales will be given to Lambda Legal to help them bring equal marriage rights to all American citizens. Thanks for your support.

Posted by The Groom at January 27, 2004 12:01 AM

And my cut will be???

Posted by: M at January 27, 2004 07:30 AM

Oh my god. So funny. I'm buying one.

Posted by: Sue at January 27, 2004 05:27 PM

Great idea- how about one that says" I'm with him" for the other grooms who are hoping to marry guys...

Posted by: m. at January 27, 2004 10:10 PM

The beauty of "taken" is that it is gender-neutral and I like to keep things simple. Too many requests and I'd have to make an "I'm With Them" shirt for polygamists.

Posted by: D at January 27, 2004 10:20 PM

Francis and I have friends who are polyamorous (in a triad), and they had twins. In some twin-related catalog, there was a button that said, "I'm with both of them!", meant for a parent of twins -- but in this case it goes double for our friends!

Posted by: Rose at January 29, 2004 07:04 PM

I did the jewelry thing and bought a ring for my man. I also proposed, he loved it! Now everyone thinks he's married, one better than engaged.

Posted by: Modern Gal at February 20, 2004 12:58 AM

It would be better if it didnt have the website underneath and simply said "Taken"

Posted by: Kendall at March 15, 2004 11:39 AM

Good point, Kendall. Although some people like the web address. Either way, I've added some shirts that just say "taken." Thanks for the suggestion.

Posted by: The Groom at March 15, 2004 09:10 PM