November 21, 2003

DIY FUBAR

From the "I Had Too Much Time On My Hands" file:

I was home sick from work yesterday, finally losing the battle against a cold I had been fighting off all week with echinachea, Vitamin C and early bedtimes. Instead of hopping on the F train, I hopped on the couch and watched a significant amount of television - hours and hours of "breaking" Michael Jackson coverage. Years from now I'll always be able to remember where I was the day the King of Pop was arrested two days before the 40th anniversary of the day JFK was shot.

Earlier this week, L had picked up a box of our thank-you notes from the stationery store, but when she got home we found that the store had forgotten to include the envelopes. L has been incredibly busy this week and has not had an opportunity to go back. So when I needed to make a supply run to replenish a diminishing OJ supply, I decided to stop by the copy shop.

When I entered and explained my situation to the woman behind the desk, she looked at me as if I was crazy. No, they did not have 300 white linen envelopes to match my 300 white linen notecards. In fact, there were no such thing as white linen envelopes at their store, even though there was such a thing as the white linen card stock on which we had the thank-you notes printed. "But that isn't what your salesperson told us when we ordered these two weeks ago," I said. The woman, who was now joined by the store's owner, an older man, explained that the salesperson must have mispoke, because all they had were plain white envelopes. Wouldn't those still match the thank-you notes, they asked?

Technically, yes, but I knew we were working with a different definition of the word "match." When one asks "Will these white note cards come with matching envelopes?" then any affirmative answer would lead me to expect white envelopes with my white notecards, right? Every color matches white, but the stationery store would not be honoring the spirit of my initial question by giving me red, yellow or blue envelopes. I wanted my white linen envelopes!

While we did not want to drop significant cash on thank-you notes, we felt it was important that they still looked classy. If people are going out of their way to send us gifts, the least we can do is send them thank-you notes that don't look like we picked them up at CVS for $5.99 for a pack of 20.

Already in a bad mood because of my cold and my inability to breathe out of my right nostril, I had little patience to argue about something as trivial as paper. Either the store screwed up the order or they didn't and they were either going to do something about it or they weren't. I just wanted to go home, flip on "Oprah," and drink some juice.

The owner agreed to call other stores he does business with and see if anyone had white linen envelopes for us. It might take a few days, he said, but he promised to call me as soon as possible.

So now, here it is, two months after we received our first gift and one week before we'll see our giftgivers at the Thanksgiving weekend engagement party and still and we still haven't sent out a proper thank-you note. The notes, written out and ready to go, are awaiting their proper white linen envelope counterparts.

If I was willing to make such a stink about notes, I can't wait until we have to pick out invitations. Let's hope I'm not sick that day.

Posted by The Groom at November 21, 2003 09:42 AM
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